Sorry.
(What a familiar word this is.)
It started as a part of the magic words taught to a ten year old,
By a pair of loving parents hoping to add politeness in their child’s mould
We are shaping her to be a better person, they said; at least that’s what I’ve been told
And in their household being a better person means using the head more and put all feelings on hold
As the child grows, the word has placed itself as the core of her entire vocabulary
It popped up everywhere — in her head, in her daily conversations and even in her diary
It becomes a synonym for every word that screams feelings, because we all know that feelings are complicated and scary
Its better to say the word instead of
acknowledging the things that make us weary
So here comes the dreaded repetition of a word that has long lost its meaning
I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry — is there any truth that is still left clinging?
Is it just plain old guilt that she feels, or actual remorse that is pushing her to the brink?
She knows that it could also means something else, unfortunately unlike her brain, her heart is unable to think
Then again, she said sorry for too many times to those she sees as basic multitudes,
Well, she occasionally said it to the people she cares about too, but in this case the word act as a substitute
For a phrase describing a feeling that is less of a guilt and more of a gratitude
Since she deemed herself to be not worthy of saying thank you to the people that do her good.
It is sad to see how thank you is not the only phrase that she had successfully forgot,
The continuous usage of sorry has wiped off all of her lexicon of sentimental words in the long shot
As she also said it to all of her past lovers, repeating the word like a programmed robot
She’s supposed to say good bye instead, for God’s sake, this one word is ruining her entire plot!
The thing is, she does not feel bad for leaving those who wronged her — it’s actually her long - awaited desire
Still, she does not want to hurt anyone, so her sorry is just a bandage for a wound so dire
Because she hates being the heartless wench, she thinks its better to just be the liar
A supposedly poetic justice in her never-ending show of satire
What an irony it is, when all she seek is fairness for everyone but never for her own,
She is always in the wrong side of everything, there are too many sins for her to atone
Each and ever single one of her imperfections piled on top of one another, making up her throne
Reigning as the girl who would make the world a better place — if only she's gone
So there she stands – letting all her spoken and unspoken sorrys torture her everyday,
Not knowing that the only person deserving of the word stands in front of the mirror in dismay
As she has not figured out that sorry is meant to be a forgiving word, not a word that put her life in complete disarray
One shall love oneself before one is able to love others, and forgiving goes the same way
At the end of the day, she decided to pick up her pen once again to both repent and confess,
Writing another letter of apology — this time with the same delivery and return address
It took her years and some unappreciated apologies to come to her senses but she's grateful nonetheless,
Since now she has made peace with herself; what starts with one sorry finally ends all the rest.
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