Peanut Delight.
( this is an 1 AM poem --- the last poem that I will write for a particular person.)
Since my younger days, I have always been remembered as the forgetful one.
I would lose countless number of hair ties or recklessly left my shoes untied when I had to run.
It's a nonsensical thing, really, but it's not rare to see how my tendencies could trouble others.
I do not even need to question if people are actually annoyed by it, as I, myself, thought of it as a bother.
Sadly, my certain habit does not change eventhough I have moved to another land.
Trust me, it's hard to keep count of the things that I have lost since I no longer have a helping hand.
From day one I noticed that I have already lost my favorite pair of jeans,
my newly - bought pair of socks, my grey beanie, even my dorm room key in Yufuin.
and the worst of all ----- I happened to also lost you along the way
I lost all the moves that I am supposed to make, and lost all the words that I am supposed to say.
Yet just like all the things that I have lost, I tried to find my way back to you once again,
thinking maybe I could still find the guy that used to be mine behind all the tears and disdain.
but wait.
who am I kidding? finding pieces of you are like collecting the sparks out of a firework
It used to be there, but spending my time to actually look for it is a foolish act -- just as foolish as stabbing myself with a dirk.
So here I am now, finally realising that not all lost things are meant to be found.
Maybe some things are better left under my living room's sofa, or inside my high school's locker,
safe and sound.
While remnants of you, and you yourself, belongs to my pastel - pink - themed adolescence,
as you no longer fill my tummy with butterflies nor my heart with warmth -- you have fallen into obsolescence.
It will be the last time for me to write about you, so read this poem loud and clear in your mind
I have let myself forget you, and this time, I am finally doing fine.
Beppu, April 2016.
Beppu, April 2016.
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